The Everglades National Park
FIU IDH 4007

Poop on You

Dave Krawsek
IDH 4007
Spring Semester 2004

   How many times have you just finished washing your car and, while you are driving down the highway all you hear is PLOP followed by juicy, white feces splattered on your windshield. Or how furious does one get when a pile of Miss FooFoo's dog crap that your neighbor neglected to pick up a couple of hours ago encompasses your shirt and Levis jeans, while mowing the front yard. I know that I get royally upset when I see bird bombs on my car after I just finished washing it a few hours ago, or when I step in a fresh pile of Miss FooFoo's poo poo! But who ever puts themselves in the animal's point of view? Who ever thinks about the fact that we are paving over all the land and cutting down all the trees that provide oxygen for our lungs and homes for the aviators? Let me tell you what, if I was a bird, I would crap all over your shiny car and as a matter of fact, I would drop a load right on your new 2003 World Champions Florida Marlins baseball cap too! Dirtbags!

   Many times I have stopped and yelled at people who are driving in my car when they are about to throw things out of the window. I don't hate, because that is an extremely powerful word, but I do despise the fact that people don't have a problem with throwing their garbage wherever they please. Just because you finished eating your triple quarter-pounder with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles and extra mayonnaise thirty seconds ago from whatever atherosclerosis causing grease pit, doesn't mean you can take your filthy napkin and paper bag and toss it out the window like your John Elway! It seems like the majority of humankind either does not care or does not realize that the trash is either going to sit there on the side of the road or is going to be picked up by some nature nurturing chump like myself. It is absolutely horrible that people litter the land with Styrofoam cups, plastic glasses, and beer bottles that would take centuries to degrade.

   Mothers and fathers are forever talking about how they want their children to have it better than they did, and how they want to give their children everything within their power. But yet these ignorant individuals continuously dispose of their trash wherever and whenever they want. By the time my children are of age to realize how absolutely disgusting the world is where mankind has placed his disease ridden feet upon the soil, it will be too late. Styrofoam, automobile oil, bottles, cans, paper, pots, knives, cigarette packages, computer printers, tires, and even toilet bowls were all retrieved from an Everglades National Park cleanup expedition this week and shipped to landfills. Come on!! First of all it is a national park. And secondly, who the hell is going to carry their old toilet bowl out of the remodeled bathroom, into the car, drive all the way into the Everglades, carry it another fifty feet, and then dump it into a canal? What kind of moron does this? Does he/she not realize that the garbage trucks and men visit everyone's yard once and even sometimes twice a week to pick up this trash!

   For the last few minutes I have been trying to put myself into the shoes of a litterbug in order to justify their reasons for polluting our planet, but was unable to come to any reasonable conclusion. So what if the newer cars don't have ashtrays! Stop polluting your lungs with the filth from the cancer sticks. Ohh, Ohh, the bag was leaking on my pants. Well you shouldn't have put the Wendys' chili in the bag without finishing it or without putting the top back on idiot. Ahh, ahh, the trash collectors wouldn't take the refrigerator. Rent a truck, take it to the dump, and drop it off. It's simple. There are always ways around not dispersing your filth throughout the world. I have been told throughout my twenty one years of life that patience is a virtue. Be virtuous. Save the scenery for your children and your children's children. I know that I don't want my children to view the world as a disgusting dwelling. So, if I see you tossing your trash out of the window again, forget about the birds dude. I am taking a crap on your car! Try me.


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